Duality

Thème: DisparitéDark Matter

par Patrick Tanguay

I hadn’t planned on making my Yulzine “entry” now and certainly not when I had chosen a hard theme but, cancellations and “super busy peopleness” being what they are, here I am. Writers and photographers here are supposed to interpret the theme as they feel it, my first thought when I started considering “subbing” was how disparity could fit with a post that I’ve had vaguely floating around my head. It was supposed to be called “Dark Matter Of My Life” but disparity will have to do.

I’m not big on looking back on my life, analyzing choices but, like everyone, I do that sometimes and almost every time I’m at peace with the choices I’ve made. They weren’t all super brilliant but they led to where I am today and, except for a few details, I’m pretty happy with where I’m at. When comparing with others, especially some that are my age or younger, I often notice a disparity, a difference between what I’ve lived/done/learned/accomplished and what some others have. There’s a lot of “missing stuff”, seems like I should have had time to do more. (Of course, it works the other way too. Sometimes I’m the one who’s done more)

In cosmology, scientists estimate the amount of matter in the galaxies and, based on gravitational effects, results consistently suggest that there is far more matter than is directly observable. Dark matter. I think there must be some dark matter in my life. If I total up what I know, which implies time to read, study, etc. Time I’ve spent on hobbies, jobs, friends, girlfriends, potential (as in pursuing) girlfriends, sports, sleep. If I then total up what some others seem to have lived there’s….. a gap. I’ve spoken with people who seem to have been in school longer, know as much about my job stuff as I do, have read anything I can think off, seen every movie made between 1960 and 1980, had more girlfriends oh, and, been semi-pro in 3 sports, spent 6 months in South America, learned Spanish in Salamanca and Italian in Florence. Plus, they’re 26 years old. I’m exaggerating a bit but not much. If they were able to fit all of that in less time then it’s possible. So if I fit much less, then there’s a hole somewhere and I’m missing some part, there must be some life time dark matter.

I’m not complaining or regretting or rehashing stuff, I’m calculating. I’ve done a good deal of procrastinating in my life, I know that, I’ve also (yes Karl) spent a bit too much time in front of the TV but that’s 6 months in South America’s worth of time. Where’s the rest? I’m ok with the choices I’ve made but I’m wondering where the choices that caused that time gap were. Beats me.

Hum. That was a crappy analogy and mostly uninteresting line of thought but huh… no time to write more or better. Must be that dark matter thing again.

With the same theme:

Photos

First entry

1093 days ago